August 3, 2011

Longer Out than In

Have you ever thought about the moment in time when your baby hit the mark of being outside longer than they were inside? 

For most mothers, this mark is usually around 9 months or 40 weeks after the baby was born. For me, however, it was around the time my baby turned 8 months old.

We were pregnant with E for exactly 8 months to the day. We are unique in knowing this since we had invitro fertilization and know the exact day our embryo was fertilized. I'm going to say something here that most people think is crazy talk, but I thought our pregnancy went by really fast and I really really loved being pregnant!

I hear most moms say that their pregnancy seemed like it took forever, but the first 9 months of their baby's life just flew by. Well, I feel the same in regards to the latter part of that. E's first 8 months really flew by and I have to pinch myself daily to remind myself that she is no longer our tiny little newborn!

My pregnancy didn't seem to fly by simply because E arrived early, but the whole thing just didn't seem to take very long to us. Some parts of the pregnancy went by slow, but for the most part, it felt like it went by very fast.

I loved EVERYTHING about being pregnant. Unlike most pregnant women who complain about every little thing (believe me you hear about it all day long when your job is working with pregnant women), I actually enjoyed experiencing the common "side effects" of being pregnant. 

Yes, I was blessed to not have extreme nausea and vomiting like most women, but I did have the usual nausea, aches, pains, trouble bending over, frequent bathroom trips, trouble sleeping, trouble walking, trouble breathing, sciatic nerve pain, cramps, intense labor pains, etc. But all that is expected during pregnancy.

Every day I was pregnant I experienced a miracle in progress. And I still experience a miracle every day I wake up and look at E. She is a miracle. Childbirth is a miracle. Pregnancy is an absolute miracle and I cherished every moment during those 8 magical months.

While I am absolutely elated to have a baby, I still miss my pregnancy a lot. Again, I know most people consider that crazy talk, but my outlook on the whole experience was different than most I think. I laugh just thinking about the many times I had to ask my husband to put my socks on for me or to help me pick something up.

I think of that moment when I first held my daughter for the first time, and sobbed like a baby myself because of the miracle I now had in my arms. I am even grateful that I was able to experience intense contractions because each time I knew I was closer to meeting my baby girl. (But I was also very glad to finally have a working epidural at 8 cm!)

E, thank you for being my sweetheart. Thank you for those 8 months you spent inside of me showing me your love each time you kicked Mommy. Thank you for the months you have spent with us showing us your love each time you smile and laugh and look into our eyes.

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