August 16, 2011

Another Baby

We have a daughter who is less than one year old. And I am constantly thinking about when we will get pregnant again! We have struggled with infertility for years. It took a lot of time and money to get pregnant with our daughter.

Once we finally got pregnant, I felt relieved that I didn't have to deal with infertility again for a while. But the thought still loomed in my head. We had a magical pregnancy and delivery, but as soon as our baby girl arrived, I started thinking about our next baby.

When would we get pregnant again? Would we be able to get pregnant naturally this time? Or would we embark yet again on a several-year journey of medications, ovulation testing, procedures, ultrasounds, waiting, more waiting, hoping to get pregnant?

I can't help thinking sometimes that my infertility has been "cured". It's easy to think that because we have one baby having another one will be a piece of cake. At least that's what I'm hoping for.

We are not under so much stress and pressure to have another baby right away this time. For years the only thought that occupied my mind was "I want to get pregnant now!". I am more content and happy now that we have our baby girl. But I still wonder when the next time is that we will get pregnant.

Will it be in a month? 6 months? 1 year? 3 years? I KNOW that we will get pregnant again and have more children. That's a fact. But the not knowing WHEN is so hard!

We had discussed birth control when my daughter was born and made the decision to not take any kind of birth control. We truly felt like if we got pregnant right away (even though it's not advised or good for a postpartum body such as mine) we would be thrilled.

And I truly would be thrilled! Now that our baby is older and not really a newborn, getting pregnant would be so great! I always wanted my kids to be close in age. Maybe not 9 months close, but within a couple years of each other.

Some days I try not to think about it much, since stress is not good for a woman who wants to get pregnant. But I can't help thinking about it.

Whenever it does happen, my world will transform again in to a magical land of pregnancy hormones and dreams of a larger family. I love being pregnant.

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