August 3, 2011

Emotions

Occasionally I discover a flood of emotions washing over me with regards to how grateful I am to have E in my life. 

The latest 'flood' occurred when I was putting her down for a nap and then getting her up from her nap. I remember just holding her in my arms and comforting her. 

As I looked down at her face I had the strongest feeling in my heart of gratitude. Gratitude for being entrusted with this baby, for the blessing of being her mother, for the blessing of experiencing motherhood and having E as my daughter.

I can’t begin to explain how full my heart felt in those small moments but I started crying while holding E. 

I just held her tight up to my chest and didn’t let go. 

I am so incredibly blessed that sometimes my heart feels like it will just burst with joy because of the happiness I feel to be E's mom. 

It’s still surreal sometimes to think that I am a mom, that I have a child. She is a part of me. 

I can’t describe the love I have for her. 

I think everyday of how precious life is and how precious our time is right now with little E. I try to soak in every day and every minute of every day because this time is slipping away all too fast. 

Before I know it E will be all grown up, and I will miss this precious time with her.

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