Another Baby

I have been thinking a lot lately about having another baby. I love having a baby. I love that E is growing bigger and that we are getting to experience her as an older baby now that she’s crawling and eating and growing developmentally, but I am also already missing the infant stuff about her! I want her to have a sibling soon.

My husband and I have talked a lot about our hopes to have a baby naturally this time. We are so grateful for modern medicine that has allowed us to get pregnant with E, but I would love to be able to experience getting pregnant like most women do, just getting pregnant naturally, without all the ultrasounds, medications, exams, etc. 

Although I have a baby of my own, I still feel a little jealous when I hear of other people I know getting pregnant and having babies. I think it’s because I feel like we are back to square one again trying to get pregnant. Even though we have been immensely blessed to have one child, I constantly think about how long it took us to get her here! I don’t want to have to wait another 2-3 years to get pregnant. All the mothers I know seem like they have a baby, then the month they want to conceive again, boom, they get pregnant. 

I just found out recently that a good friend of mine was able to conceive within WEEKS of getting off birth control. Weeks! I would KILL for that! People who are blessed to be fertile have NO IDEA the heartache that accompanies infertility. They cannot possibly imagine what it’s like to want to be pregnant NOW and be denied that blessing for months, even years. 

Another friend of mine at work is pregnant and stated clearly that it was an accident. She was paraphrasing something her husband said, “Why can’t we at least have to try to get pregnant like everyone else! I swear I blink and you’re pregnant!”. I do understand that for some people having an unplanned pregnancy is hard for multiple reasons, whether it be financial, physical, emotional, timing is not right, etc. But still, they are blessed to be pregnant! I would much rather be able to get pregnant without hardly trying than go through what I have been through. At least people who are super-fertile have the option of birth-control! 

I’ve been trying to suppress my feelings of jealousy at others who are pregnant/just having babies, but it is still there deep down (okay, maybe not that deep down!). I want to be like them. I want to be able to surprise E soon and tell her she’s going to be a big sister!

The questions that run through my mind all the time are:

-When will we get pregnant again?

-How long will we have to try to get pregnant?

-Will we be able to get pregnant naturally or will we need to do IVF again?

I need to focus my thoughts on something else. I know that in time we will have more children, I just wish I could look into my crystal ball and see when that time will be!

Great Read!

It has been FOREVER since I actually sat down and read a good book that wasn't related to parenting. I didn't know much about The Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond, before I read this book.

It is really a great book! I read it in about 3 days. I am not one for reading romantic novels, but this is a great romance story! It's also a great story about decision-making, and how the really important things in life can pass you by if you aren't paying attention.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone.

If you have already read it, what did you think about it?

Antisocial

Confession:
I have always been a little bit (okay maybe more than a little bit.....majorly) antisocial.

As a shy child and even adult, I usually try to avoid being in many social situations. That is pretty hard to do though. I have always been a little awkward when it comes to conversing and interacting with other people.

I don't want to make myself sound weird like I have a phobia, I don't. What I mean to say is that I can force myself to be "normal" in social situations, but deep down, it's not who I really am. I have always been a homebody. I love being in the comfort of my own home, just with my family.

In my profession, I have to interact with strangers on a daily basis, and I get to know a lot of personal information about my patients and their families in a short amount of time. I am able to always be very friendly and outgoing with these people, because they are strangers and the likelihood of me every seeing them again is very slim.

But for some reason when it comes to seeing people I already know, I kind of freeze up. Like at work for instance, I do great with the strangers I meet during my shift, but my fellow coworkers are always asking me how come I never speak up.

They say I'm the quietest person they have ever met. It's true, I don't like to talk a lot (at least vocally). I have always been a great listener, but when it comes time to share my opinion, good luck getting it out of me!

I have found that those who gossip or talk a lot about themselves end up hurting others' feelings even when it's not intended. They say something about someone that is unkind, or maybe just an observation, but it can be taken the wrong way by some and misconstrued to mean something entirely different.

I love the TV series "Everybody Loves Raymond". It is a classic show and I have laughed so hard so many times during the episodes. We own the complete series and watch an episode almost daily. The grandfather in the show is named Frank and I can relate to his feelings of people so well! He is always saying how he "hates" people.

Now I don't "hate" people, but I sometimes hate being around people. I much rather enjoy being by myself or with my family at home.

Again, I don't mean to sound crazy or make others look bad if they are social butterflies, but it has never been one of my desires to be out and about in the social scene.

How do you handle different social situations? Are you introverted or extroverted? A combination of both?

I don't want to!

Recently I've been sounding a lot like a two-year-old. I don't have one of those yet, but I know how they act and what they sound like.

As a full-time mom, it is hard for me to also be a part-time nurse. I work part-time at a local hospital usually 2-3 times a week. It is so hard for me to leave my family and go to work!

I've never been a huge fan of going to work. I know I sound lazy, but I'm really not. I have so much I would like to do at home that I hate going to work.

The #1 reason I don't like going to work is leaving my baby girl. I miss her so much while I'm at work. When she was just a newborn, I would get all choked up and cry just in anticipation of leaving to go to work. Now that she's a little older, it's not quite as tough, but it still is hard for me to leave her at home and not take her with me.

It's hard because I work in the evenings and during the night so when I go to work, I miss being able to put my baby girl to bed. I love that time of day!

I love nursing her before bed, then reading books, then rocking, then cuddling while I hold her.

I love feeling her warm dreamy breath on my cheek, I love looking at her droopy eyelids.

I love putting her in her crib and watching her roll over onto her side or tummy and give that one last huge yawn before she's asleep.

And I miss that when I'm at work.

What motivates you to go to work? I mean I know that earning money is important, but I wish I could freeze time while I'm away so that I wouldn't have to miss out on these precious moments!

Mermaid Giveaway

There is an awesome giveaway going on over at 71toes.blogspot.com.

You can win an incredible Mermaid Tail from this website.

Head on over to enter the giveaway!